I am pondering my own mortality which is odd for this time of night since I’m usually watching “Law and Order” reruns,  David Letterman (such a fine gentleman) or Craig Ferguson (not such a fine gentleman but more to my liking) at this time of night.  I usually ponder this upon waking in the funk of a hangover at about 9 in the morning or when I wake around 4 am with my heart pounding in my ears.  Sometimes it even creeps up on me when I think the brakes are failing because I wasn’t paying attention on the freeway.

 I think I am thinking of this now because I’m taking my 93 year old “Uncle” in tomorrow for his second bladder cancer surgery in four months and I’m petrified about what will happen tomorrow.  This panic is pure selfishness as I’m more worried about how I will be able to deal with a crisis myself instead of worrying about a potential crisis to him, although I do worry about him.  So I’m trying to take my mind off my own shittyness and put it somewhere else.

Therefore I decided to ponder my own mortality and since I’ve done this before at various times, I’ve decided to post a little ditty that I wrote for my will.  Honestly it is in my properly executed last will…etc.  So here is my Requiem (apologies to Robert Louis Stevenson)

 REQUIEM

 No service in a chapel; no graveside mourning for me.

No announcements, no pronouncements; no fake or heartfelt sympathy.

Don’t put me in a casket, I would not even ask it.

Just burn me in a box; no shoes, no shirt, no sox.

Then put the bit that’s left of me inside my pots under my trees.

And in the dark past midnight; when the hours are wee and small,

Just think of me with fondness or if not; then not at all.