Here is a “recipe” of mine. 

It comes from my newly created cookbook entitled:

“Recipes for People Who Can’t Cook”

 This recipe is called:

The Dish my Father-Out-of-Law will always eat but we shouldn’t serve too often

What you need:

 *Enough hard pasta to serve as many as you want to serve

*Manufactured Cream (Manufacturing cream has even more butterfat (about 33%) than whipping cream (31%)) Note VERY bad for you that is why this recipe tastes so good

* Grated Parmesan Cheese

*Butter & Garlic if you want (if you want garlic in this you will need at least some butter to saute the garlic in)

*Fresh Green Beans – lots – with ends cut off and sliced into thirds or fourths depending on length of beans…about the size of whatever pasta you’re using

*Fresh Mushrooms – lots more – of any kind you like, I like the plain old button or baby portabellas

*Black Pepper & Finely Chopped Parsley to taste


Rinse mushrooms and cut in ½ if smallish or 3 slices per mushroom if bigish

 Put a large pan of water on the stove, add some salt…much more than a pinch and less than a ½ palmful, add mushrooms and bring to a boil.  Boil for a while but don’t let the mushrooms shrink to non existence. Between 5 and 15 minutes will do but if you forget it, no worries, this is a very forgiving recipe,  the mushroom pieces will just be smaller.  When done water should be brownish and murky and taste like mushrooms. 

 (Makes a GREAT vegetarian soup base if you want to save after next steps)

Add green beans to the  boil and continuing boiling for about 3 minutes, less if you really like al dente beans.

 Remove beans & mushrooms from water and set aside, if you really want the beans al dente place them in cold water to stop them from cooking more.

 Add pasta to mushroom water and cook as the box instructs. Add a cup of cold water just before you want to strain the pasta.

DON’T rinse the pasta.

 Put strained pasta, beans and mushrooms back in the large pot and add some cream, the amount depends on how much pasta you have.  This is your sauce base, use your judgment.  The pasta will soak up some of the sauce but if you’re not careful you’ll get it too runny.  You can always add more but it is hard to “add less.”

Just use your judgment.

 Add butter or not, as the cream is REALLY heavy.  If you’re using garlic in this, saute it in a little butter about 2-3 minutes until garlic is almost browned and add to cream.  Add lots of grated parmesan but again use your judgment based on your own taste and your dietary needs.  Parmesan has LOTS of salt.  Turn the heat back on low, start stirring this mess, add black pepper to taste and a small amount of finely chopped parsley (if you like it)  Keep adding the “sauce” ingredients” until you’re satisfied with result but again, it is easy to add more and hard to add less.

 Place in serving dish and serve with additional grated parmesan to top.