One Should NEVER Make Decisions in the Middle of the Night


  “There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke…”


My father was a doctor back during the time when pharmaceutical reps or detail men as we used to call them, would give out “samples” of just about anything to doctors.  It didn’t really matter what your specialty was if a rep thought you might prescribe it, they’d give you samples of it.  They would also pass out little gifts, like nice letter openers that looked like swords or fancy carved boxes to keep who knew what in; I had many of these as a child and thought they were exotic and special.

 They would also take the doctors to all sorts of events, entertainments, and dinners and do just about anything else they could think of to get the doctors to “use” their products.

 Of course now a day they are actually legally limited in what they can pass out or pass on (yah right) and their budgets are definitely not what they used to be but back in the 1960s and 1970s my dad had boxes of this stuff and therefore so did the family.

 Now I’m not talking about pain medications, diet pills, or sleeping pills and that kind of thing but allergy meds, hormones, baby mama vitamins, BC pills and other stuff like that was abundant, even antibiotics and some muscle relaxants.  I don’t think I ever paid for a prescription until I was in my late 20s.

 One of the medications my father always asked for was liquid Novocain.  It was used extensively in dentistry at that time but my dad used it to numb the frequent canker sores he’d get in his mouth.  Since I got those sores  a lot as a kid too…it appeared to be from acidic food and most assuredly from walnuts…my dad gave me my very own bottle when I moved out of the nest.  Whoopeee!

I was ecstatic as by that time I was also getting getting them if I was out in the sun too much; like when I went on beach jaunts, sunned at the hot springs, or worked weekends at amateur auto races.

 Well one night, after I’d been in my own little nest for just a little while, I got a REALLY BAD cold.  I had a fever and an ear ache too but I really didn’t have anything to take but aspirin to help for all this, as this was one of the first times I gotten sick on my own and I didn’t have much in the way of “remedies” around the house.

 I went to bed with a heating pad on my ear and woke up several hours later with the WORSE sore throat and just wanted my Mommy. 

Then I got the bestest idea!

 If the Novocain would deaden my mouth with a canker sore, why wouldn’t it deaden my sore throat like Cepacol, a remedy my mother had given me often over the years.

 Sooooo, I gargled with Novocain…a REALLY BAD IDEA!

 My throat went so dead I couldn’t tell if I was swallowing the right way or not, in fact I couldn’t even tell if I was actually swallowing at all. 

I got panicked and thought I’d pull a Jimi Hendrix in my sleep and decided I needed to stay awake.  Hours later, or so it seemed, my throat was still not “awake” and neither was I, so finally I went to bed again, face down, with a wash cloth in my mouth to prop it open so I wouldn’t swallow wrong and also to catch my drool. 

Sexy huh and certainly not very bright.

 I did go to sleep almost immediately and I have no idea if I drooled the rest of the night away but unlike Jimi, I did wake up. 

So children, the moral of this story is…..Don’t Gargle with Novocain and always think twice about an idea that occurs in the middle of the night.

The End