Archives for the day of: September 29, 2012

I AM IN FITS OF LAUGHTER!!!!!

AND IT IS GREAT BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN A LONG LONG TIME.

 MY NAME IS A LITTLE DIFFERENT THAN MOST PEOPLE’S NAMES, NOT THAT THERE ARE NOT A LOT OF DRUSCILLAS OUT THERE…CALIGULA’S DAUGHTER, CINDERELLA’S EVIL STEP SISTER, AND SUPPOSEDLY SOME AWFUL PERSON IN THE BIBLE…also a vampire on “Buffy”  

IT IS JUST THAT YOU DON’T ENCOUNTER THE NAME EVERY DAY AND NOT OFTEN WITH THE SPELLING THAT INCLUDES;  THE S & C.

 ANYWAY WHEN I WAS IN ABOUT 6TH GRADE, MY MOTHER WAS GETTING A CAKE FOR MY BIRTHDAY AND SHE WANTED  IT INSCRIBED…HAPPY BIRTHDAY DRUSCILLA.  THE PERSON AT THE BAKERY WROTE THE INSCRIPTION ON WAX PAPER……..THIS WAS A LONG LONG TIME AGO……AND THE ICING ARTIST  JUST COULDN’T BELIEVE IT AND CALLED MY MOTHER TO VERIFY THAT SHE WANTED THE CAKE INSCRIBED…

”HAPPY BIRTHDAY DRACULA”

 MY MOTHER FIXED THE ERROR BUT TOLD ME ABOUT IT AND I GOT HYSTERCAL (WITH LAUGHTER NOT TEARS) AND DEVELOPED AN EVEN GREATER AFFECTION FOR THAT BAT.; ONE THAT STILL FOLLOWS ME TO THIS DAY.

 I HAVE HAD OVER MY ADULT LIFE TIME A SERIES OF FRIENDS (MOSTLY WOMEN) THAT GET TOGETHER FOR BIRTHDAY BRUNCHS.  FOR A FEW YEARS THE 8 OR MORE OF US WOULD MEET FOR MY BIRTHDAY AND IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN MONTHS SINCE ALL OF US HAD SPOKEN (this was way before eMails and FaceBook) AND WE COULD SPEND OVER 3 HOURS TELLING OUR STORIES WITH OMELETS, ENCHELLADAS, CORN MUSH, FLAN, AND CHAMPAIGNE. 

 BECAUSE OF MY AFORE MENTIONED STORY WE’D CALL THESE MEET AND EATS

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY DRACULA”

 AT ONE TIME I ACTUALLY CONSIDERED TRYING TO WRITE A PLAY ENTITLED THAT, INCORPORATING VARIOUS OF THE AKWARDLY, RABIDLY, AWFULLY, OR JUST PLAIN HYSTERICAL STORIES OF ALL THE OTHERS, INTO LITTLE  VIGNETTES WHICH WOULD COMPRISE THE WHOLE PLAY BUT OF COURSE I NEVER DID AND OF COURSE THIS RITUAL HAS GONE THE WAY OF MOST ARCHAIC RITUALS ……bye bye.

        However my birthday is fast approaching, as well as the end of my life, and I just got a call from a creditor where the “OUTSOURCED” collector asked for…NO WAIT EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW.

 “MAY I SPEAK TO DRACULA PLEASE”

 Hee hee hee!!!

 

ps there is no reason i hate the bomb in the article but of course i do; i just thought it was a funny title.  Be careful with your bodily fluids!

   Schuster was, according to my vet, the classic bugar nose cat…didn’t even know they’d made that in the “classic” list!

 He came to me through my sister, by way of my niece and although I didn’t want him, I’m so glad he found me.

 He was liberated from the shelter where he had been born  by my niece who carried him around for weeks on her neck.  He was sickly with a respiratory ailment that he’d acquired in the shelter at a very early age…like when he was born.  He was on antibiotics most of the first year of his life.   So even though he was fixed there and got his “perpetual cold” there he LOVED humans but probably thought we were catz.

 The story goes that my niece, upon graduation, moved in with others who would not accept him for various reasons…most unspecified…so he ended up at my sister’s place.

 He was unhappy there because she had to keep him in the laundry room as both her sons are VERY allergic to cats….to this day even though they have curtailed their symptoms most of the time, I can’t give either a GREAT BIG HUG cuz I’m ALWAYS covered in cat hair. 

 Anyway he was very unhappy as he only had the rabbit (or was it a hamster or the rat at that time?) for company and not any humans or catz as he liked to think of us, not knowing any better, and he CRIED ALL THE TIME!

 One afternoon my sister came to my house for a supposedly different reason…yah right…and casually mentioned that she was going to let him out to take his chances in the yard; of course unless anyone had a better idea. 

(I said yah right)

 So even though I’d just acquired Poppy Louise and still had Jennings and Fromme and lived in a historic rental building, I did have a better idea.  So I acquired Schuster and was glad I did.  He is one of the few catz I’ve “owned” (I ask you who owns who?)  that didn’t think of all humans, excluding me most of the time, as

 “RUN THE CAT KILLERS ARE HERE”

 

SO HERE ARE HIS SONGS:

 *****************************************************************************************************************

Schuster, Schuster, Orange and White…likes to lick and likes to bite.  He’s bright as a penny and sharp as a tack but he’s not very skinny and he looks like a bat.

**************************************************************

I washed your blood from off the street, my tears running in the road.

I’d like to run that woman down and squish her like a toad!     

the end