Archives for the month of: June, 2014


(What I’ve Heard so far and am trying to LEARN…me)








Chapter 1:

I walked down the sidewalk and fell into a deep hole.  I couldn’t get out and I couldn’t figure out why. It wasn’t my fault. It took a long time to get out.

 Chapter 2:

I walked down the sidewalk and fell into the same hole again. I couldn’t understand. It wasn’t my fault. I really had to struggle to get out.

Chapter 3:

I walked down the sidewalk and fell into the same hole again. This time I understood why and it was my fault. This time it was easier to get out.

 Chapter 4:

I walked down the sidewalk and saw the same big hole. I walked around it. I didn’t fall into that hole.

 Chapter 5:

I chose another sidewalk.

 Portia Nelson


(repeat chapter 1-5 until you die, sigh…me)




 “Sometimes it is not your Circus and it is not your monkeys!”

unknown to me

druz gotz herz ownz circuz shez donzt needz yourz!  sez catz

druz gotz herz ownz circuz shez donzt needz yourz! sez catz



”LET IT BE”    

The Beatles



“Sometimes you just have to dance to the music that is playing.”

Leroy Jethro Gibbs





I have insomnia, it has been diagnosed….

I just can’t seem to sleep.
I can’t go to sleep,
I can’t stay asleep and
I’m ALWAYS tired!

 I asked my shrink for a sleep aid, well hardly my shrink because she never talks to me or asks me anything other than how are the pills working?

I try to tell her I still have mild panic attacks which raise my blood pressure, that I’m so tired all the time I can’t function yet I still have trouble going to sleep.  That I hurt everywhere and I’m dizzy and confused.



– She no listen, she say –

“Here is another refill, I’ll see you in three months this time”-


Finally I was getting back to the point where I just didn’t want to do this anymore. So I looked up side effects of my sleep medication and after three months, I quite cold turkey!

 I mean REALLY?

I have hypertension but I can usually maintain at mid stage one. Over the last four weeks since I saw her last and she urged me to take the sleep med EVERY NIGHT…

My blood pressure has risen well over 20 points and has been as high as 203 / 115 and averages 189 / 106. I can’t think, my head hurts, and I just feel just plain bad!

 My medication can raise blood pressure.


 I have been diagnosised with pancreatitis.

The med can cause pancreatitis.


 Because I have pancreatitis, doctors have assured me I will develop Type II diabetes.

The med can raise blood sugar.


My cholesterol and triglycerides are high.

This med can raise bad cholesterol and lower good cholesterol.


I’m dizzy and confused and have vertigo. Of course that just might be old age…


guess what this med can cause too?


Now I’m not saying I have all these conditions because of my “sleep” medication, I was already diagnosed with everything but an excess of confusion and vertigo

but hell I am old!

 However, I’m really hoping that my blood pressure goes down now that I’m refusing to take this stuff.   Oh and guess what? Although often given to help with sleep, the main reason for this medication is to treat bipolar condition. I may be bipolar but the potential side effects of this particular med should, in my non professional opinion, have never allowed it to be prescribed to me.

Besides, none of the professionals I’ve seen over the last few months have every actually said to me…”I think you’re Bipolar”  They hinted at it I must admit…”Are you permiscous?”…At my Age!…”Do you shop alot?…Isn’t that learned behaviour!…”Do you gamble?…No I grew up in Vegas…

Stuff like that but never…”We think you’re bipolar and will treat you for that.”

I’ve left instructions for my family that if I stroke in the next few weeks, to sue her for medical neglect.

 I told her I went off that med and why but I still wanted something for sleep and ONLY sleep and she wants to give me Ambien….

Oh Sleep Driving Here We Come!

dru dresses like a clown

dru dresses like a clown








Jillian Tit’n she had four kittens

But three of them died and  Jillian cried

 Jillian Tit’n now had one kitten

Which she carried with pride

Cuz it hadn’t died


Jillian Tit’n she found four kittens

So young that they barely squeaked

When they cried


Jillian Tit’n found another kitten

Aged somewhere between

Kitten one and two thru five


Jillian Tit’n she stole all those kittens

Now she has a Pride

Cuz now there’s more than five!


Jillian Tit’n found ANOTHER kitten

Other mothers growl when she comes in sight

Because Jillian Tit’n is a


“THEIF in the NIGHT”


Bette Noir


They vary in size but they’re all alive!