Trump Declares That Every Day Is Now President’s Day

OOooooo guffaw! ~~dru~~

Happy Presidents Day, Modern Philosophers.

In case you forgot about the holiday, don’t worry. It will be coming around again much sooner than usual.

As in tomorrow.

President Trump signed a new Executive Order today declaring that every day is now President’s Day.

“President’s Day is a huge holiday that seems to get forgotten because it’s lumped in with school vacation and Valentine’s Day,” Trump addressed the White House Press Corps himself as Sean Spicer stood in the corner, arms crossed, and pouting like a child sent to bed without his milk and cookies.

“Arbor Day, Flag Day, Columbus Day…these are holidays, too,” he continued. “They all get one day on the calendar, which makes them seem just as important as President’s Day. But they’re not. Since when is a tree as important as the leader of the free world? I mean, I like the flag, but come on. Not…

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